Twitter 101 #TheDumbiesGuide

Time magazine said it best in the opening line of their story about Twitter: “ The one thing you can say about twitter is that it makes a terrible first impression” If you are one of those people who are interested in finding out which direction our youth is headed and what they think about anything and everything, get a twitter account then... brace yourself.

I’ve had a Twitter account since 2010 but only started tweeting seriously last year and sheesh have enjoyed my time on these Twitter streets. Part of the reason being that I’ve discovered how boring, simple, stupid and irrelevant most of the celebs I’ve been admiring are   

(Ok fine, that’s just Kim Kardash). But seriously, I find it refreshing that ones popularity on Twitter is based purely on how witty, interesting and funny a person is. Regardless of how famous you are if you lack substance you will be unfollowed *insert sad face*

On Twitter we all speak one language…and that’s sarcasm and boy oh boy do we speak it fluently. Don’t fret if you are new on these Twitter streets you too will soon learn!! oh and another thing your untrained eye will not easily recognise is that there is ‘Black Twitter’ and ‘White Twitter’. For the sake of not airing out my people’s dirty laundry I will not divulge anything about Black Twitter…as for White Twitter; well I’m unfamiliar.

Anyway let me wrap this up, writing this piece is stealing precious twitter time from my schedule. Now if Twitter was a province Khaya Dlanga would be the mayor and he was kind enough to write an article on how to get the most out of Twitter, Mr brother man is sitting pretty on 40 859 followers so it’s safe to say he knows what he is talking about, here are a few of his tips:

ü      Be Famous

If you are famous it’s easy to get followers. When people first join twitter the first thing they do is to look for and follow celebrities. However as soon as they become familiar with twitter they may unfollow you if you are a boring famous person.

ü      Be inspiring

People are not always up, so when you give them a boost with inspirational messages they might pass that on to their followers.

ü      Be pretty

If you’re good looking and you don’t really say anything of substance you’ll be followed. I should know, I only rely on my looks on twitter. Kidding. Smiley face. Laugh out loud.

ü      Be controversial

If you have nothing to say, you can be controversial for no reason. Even then, your followers quickly get bored of this and decide that they want substance.

Follow me @Thando_George, the only place where you can follow me and I won’t accuse you of being a stalker.